You guys give up, or you thirsty for more??

In regards to the post below this one, I don't know what I'm doing and I struggle!!! I took the pic with my iPad but to upload pics from iPad to blogger you have to do it via picasa and I decided to skip that and copy paste instead hence the giant pic. In the near future i am getting the new "broadband" internet which I'm pretty sure the rest of the world got in 2003 and it's just getting here. But I need it to go with my new flash smart tv that I got for Xmas (and gave for Xmas, it was a split present) :-)

Anyway, that's not important. What is important is those cookies.  You might recognise them as samoas and you would be correct because they are samoas but homemade.  Let me just say those cookies are a pain in the ass to make!  They almost 3 hours!!! But worth it as I got about 40 cookies out of the batch.  Jason had to work Xmas (48 hours straight, he's still there) so I brought these and some fresh baked choc chip cookies for all the poor suckers stuck there with no fam or xmas dinner. I am happy I saved about 10 cookies for myself because I can't tell you how good they are!  The most delicious part about it is I made the caramel sauce from scratch (1st time) but keeping in step with the hot trends changed it to salted caramel sauce and dipped it in dark Cadbury chocolate for the grown and sexy vibe, no kiddie shit.  So far I've eaten 4 and just froze the rest to deter me from eating them. I didn't really follow a recipe but email me if you want to know how to make these and I can describe.

Christmas was quiet. I took Christmas Eve off work so we could have our little celebration a day early.  It's been pouring in darwin which is good because it's not as sweltering hot.  Other than that work as usual and just after New Years we go to melbourne for 4 days and then to Canberra for a week to see Jason's family.

But the biggest news of all is my roommate is GONE!!!! peace out and most of all good riddance!! I can't remember anything that has made me as happy as this. Towards the end I was really starting to lose my shit with this dude.  The last 2 months was living with him, his gf and her 1 year old baby all in an apt and me totally going nuts. Esp after I learned that the gf got drunk one night and fought the neighbor at 2am at the pool and peeps called police! Then police came to my house for an assault investigation! That on top of his consistent racist/homophobic remarks, I reached breaking point. And it was taking a strain on my relationship with Jason so in all seriousness good fucking riddance!!  We are both so happy!

Work is good. I now have a permanent government job (no more contracts) which is great job security, they can't fire me!  I am very excited about that.  Feels good to settle for a while after all the craziness of constant job changing the last few years. I'm coming to MA in march but unfortunately it's a wicked short trip.  I am planning a much longer trip home in jan 2015 -- yes I like to come in winter to get out of this heat!!!! Then maybe moving back the year after that??? Maybe? I hope?! 

Ouchie

$10 for canned pumpkin!! Same store, all the specialties! Only place you can get this though so I bought it!! Pumpkin choc chip cookies for Halloween :-) 

The heat is on!!

It's probs a million degrees in darwin these days.  This is no joke.  The air is so thick it almost hurts to breathe it in.  Ok that's exaggerating but the humidity is about 85% and it's around 100 degrees in the afternoons. Love the tropics!! Love even more when my dumb ass ford fiesta shits itself on the side of the highway on sat and jason and I had to push it home in this ridic weather! The silver bullet is out of commission! Tomorrow it gets towed to be fixed.  Ugh, always something with cars around here!

Today I am complaining about student loans and how paying them is like throwing my money away! I have a pretty decent job here and I actually apply stuff I learned in grad school to my work.  However, the degree didn't help me to get the job and it prolly won't do much for me in the future either as long as I am in Australia.  See, you don't need a degree to work in the public service in aus.  In fact, for most positions, they aren't even allowed to require a 4 year degree in the job description.  Even for management positions!! You don't even need a planning degree to be a town planner!  It's crazy to me, but it's the way it is... And I am the only sucker at my work paying off student loans while everyone else is buying cars that don't break down!

It's not just the public service though, you can have great career  without needing an advanced degree (and all the debt that comes with it) in aus.  Even law school only costs about $20k here!  Basically the crappy jobs that us Americans take when we're fresh out of college go to peeps fresh out of high school here.  Then they just work their way up.  You can easily be making serious money by the time you're 30 without a cent of student debt.  Of course, then you missed out on college life, but at least you have money!  Many Aussies will put large amounts of money towards travelling as you get about 2 months a year off here between vacation days and the many public holidays. Ugh, if I had only known... 

This seems like a reasonable price...

Yes, that would be Bush's black beans for the amazing price of $5.50 a can. BEANS! Black beans are  very hard to come by in Darwin. I bought a bag of dried black beans at a store once (the only other time I have ever seen them) and I soaked them over night then cooked them for 12 hours in the slow cooker and...they were still hard. How is that even possible?

The beans in the pic are from the gourmet food store. Last week I bought sliced turkey there for $25 a pound.  This place is not cheap. But it's next to my work, so I'm in that piece like everyday. And they have some really nice things in there, but you certainly are going to pay for it! I still haven't brought myself to buy the beans yet, even though I look at them like everyday.  I miss America!

I've started wearing my pedometer again.  I find it's a really good motivator.  The only thing is it's hard to conceal with a dress. Last year I wore one for a month straight and it helps to keep me on track. Also if I feel like I was really lazy that day, the proof is right there in the pedometer. It's crazy hot here, so I am not inclined to move often, lol. 

The lunch time gym session

I personally don't get how the lunch time gym session is physically possible, especially for women! I've heard that the gym I go to is apparently packed at lunch time. And in the one of the offices I worked at here, some chicks used to go to the gym during their lunch... But these bitches used to take the 1.5 hour lunch break because no one gave an f in there. Even still, I don't get it. I work out in the mornings. Work starts at 8 so that means I'm up at 5:45 to throw on clothes and proceed immediately to the gym. There's no time for mucking around, if I even have to attend to a bathroom situation there is potential to throw off the schedule. I drive 5 mins to the gym, do my thing and am back by 7 to get ready for work. The entire process takes 2 hours 15 mins! How can you get all this done on a lunch break?! What about hair and makeup for us girls?? Do you go back to work with sweat hair?

Mind boggling. Even further, then when the hell do you eat lunch?! There's no way you can work out, shower, and eat lunch in an hour. Nevermind the time to get to the gym.  If this was possible I would be all over it, because you know waking up at 545 is not my thing!

21st century issues

Since the introduction of Napster, iTunes, limewire etc I must have downloaded a bagillion songs. Only recently am I noticing how many key songs have not made it though all the transfers of devices from different laptops to computers to iPods and iPads and iThis and iThat. Well you can imagine my I immense disappointed when I had the urge to listen to Eddie Murphy's "party all the time" today only to discover it didn't make it though the last transfer! Not only no song, but I had the video downloaded! Also missing, "big pimpin" spending cheese. How is this possible?!

In other 21st century news, a few days before Miley Cyrus did her thing on the vma's, I asked Jason, because I am old and out of touch, if he knew what twerking was. I kept seeing it and I figured he is younger so he should know. His response was, and he was dead serious, "that is what they call going on twitter while you're at work, you know, tweeting at work, twerk." Lmao! 

$25 lipstick

Alright bitches I'm back in action! Enough effing around, it's time to bring this blog back for real!

Of course lots has happened in the last 6 months but I will get around to all that eventually. First off, I need to complain, because what would my blog be without complaining? So... Pinterest. I am on that shit as much as possible, it's an obsession. I even critique other people's pins in my head, people I don't know, especially the clothes and food ( such as eww who eats that etc). It's totally replaced magazine reading in my life. It's the main reason I don't blog.  I changed my hair color the other week and I must have spent 20 hours on effing Pinterest in prep before deciding on a pic of Hillary Duff to bring to the salon lol.  Side note, my hair didn't come out looking anything like Duff's....

Anyway, Pinterest brain washed me into needing a nude lip color immediately. As in I could not go to work the next day if I didn't have it.  There's obvs no Sephora in Darwin (actually no Sephora in Australia so can't even order online wtf?!) but I can order mac at 2-3xs the price of US.  However, in this emergency situation, I HAD to have this lipstick, so I roll into the drug store (called the "chemist" here), pick out the lipstick and also needed deodorant, proceed to pay and am asked to produce $35 because yes the lipstick is $25!!! REVLON LIPSTICK!! YES REVLON! There are obvious problems with this. 1. that I was buying revlon at all because I am a bit of a make up snob and 2. how the f could it cost that much?!?!? Appalling really.

So recently all over Pinterest in coconut oil. I was thinking, shit they don't sell that shit here except in the one one extremely expensive store and I don't want to pay $100 for it. But suddenly, this week, coconut oil has taken darwin by storm!! 2 stores have had coconut oil displays, darwin is so hip! I managed to pick up a jar of organic virgin coconut oil for $5. When I bought it, it was white because it was at room temperature. However, I just took the jar out of the cabinet and it's totally clear now because my house is obvs well over "room temperature." It's fucking hot. Anyway, that doesn't matter. Another thing I do is see something on Pinterest and then google it to see if a better version exists (I have no life). I googled coconut oil extensively, I don't quite believe everything they are saying about it, but I didn't decide to give the face scrub a try... And wow my skin is sooooo soft! But not oily. It actually feels amazing! I made a small jar of equal parts raw sugar to oil and added a good squeeze of lemon juice because my skin is naturally oily. It looks exfoliated and feels so smooth. Uh oh, drinking the coconut oil kool aid! Will it replace baking soda as my new fav? I will try cooking with it this week and see how that goes.

Glad to be writing again. As I've told some people, I started a new job in July and it's pretty serious... By pretty serious I mean I can't gchat. That's the most serious thing about it. It's an open office concept and I sit right in the middle. Grrrrr. So I will be writing more to keep in touch better.  So holla, please! 

Blog will be back soon

I'm having technical difficulties!!  I think I mentioned my comp shit the bed this 2013, so I have replaced it with an iPad.... Which is cool but it it might take me 1.5 years to type on this shit. Actually  now that I am typing it's not so bad, but I'm using 2 fingers.  Anyway, I still have 2 other comps but they aren't connected to Internet now blah blah.  When I get this bizness all sorted I will be back in action sans this damn autocorrect shit it's doing.  In the meantime holla at me on gchat! I'm always on!

Australia: The land where everything costs more

Darwin:  The land where everything costs ALOT more.  It's been well over a year now and I am confident I will never get over how much everything costs here.  Food is obvs ridiculous, I paid almost $4 for a small bunch of radishes the other day.  Fucking radishes! $5 for a loaf of bread.  BREAD!  Then there are the taxes.  Alcohol is taxed to the ridiculous extreme that Australian wines are generally a lot cheaper in the US than here.  Wine is not as bad as beer and liquor though.  Expect to pay $50 for a bottle of Absolut or Jack Daniels (uhh regular size bottle).  Forget something like Grey Goose, totally out of budget.  Beer is INSANE though.  The other day I saw a case of pale ale at the store up the street for $110!!! Others were hovering around $90.  And lucky I dont smoke because cigarettes are around $22 a pack.

Living in Darwin, you get especially screwed over because they up the price of everything because "it's a remote area and they have to truck everything in from down south" yadda yadda.  Basically, I think it's store owers saying, "You dont want to pay this price?  Try and find it somewhere else, bitches! Suck it!"  Another perk of living in Darwin is you get to pay a whole shit load more for electricity too! This is really fucked.  It's hot here, really hot.  So hot the heat makes you sick.  You have to use an air conditioner or it's just too hot to sleep.  Our electricity comes from the Power Water Corporation.  It took me about 6 months of living here to understand that Power Water is a government institution.  I was thinking it was like National Grid, but it's not, it's a department of the Northern Territory government.  Anyway, you've heard me bitch that there was an election here last year and a new party took office.  They allegedly uncovered all this eradict spending the previous govt had been covering up and made all kinds of cuts (like my job!).  Additionally, they decided it was absolutely crucial to raise power bills to help balance the budget.  Now, I couldn't imagine power bills being any higher than they already were.  We are billed quarterly and the bills are normally around $600-900!  Yes, $900 for 3 months of electricity when no one is home all day.  I obvs have been bitching to them  for a year now but their only response is to accuse me of "overusing" my air conditioning. 

The price increase is really out of hand.  We just paid our last bill which covered over the Christmas holiday season.  $650 for a 3 month bill of which no one was home for 7 weeks!  The only thing that was running was the fridge! Obvs we bitch again.  This time we tell them we suspect there is something faulty with our meter causing power to be running even when everything has been turned off.  The customer service agent says, "That may be the case.  If you'd like us to look into it, it will be $120 to send a technician."  !!!!!!!!!!!!  $^$%#$&!!!  You have to be kidding.  Then what?  The technician says it's fine and we just keep paying?!  So today is the day.  We fight the man.  Not taking no for an answer.  Calling Power Water today and getting to the bottom of this, without paying $120!  All fired up!

Party all the time

Ack!  Cant believe I forgot to talk about this because it had me all seized up last weekend.  Remember when I said the Michie Ct had become a little quiter this year?  Well all the military peeps are back (it's not just army living here, there's navy, airforce, etc) and the pool parties have resumed.  FMFL.  Seriously.  Saturday was Australia day and obvs I was predicting it was going to be bad news. Most people have BBQs and since I have no friends I was holding my own 2 person BBQ here, complete with beer pong :)  Before the BBQ, we decided to go to the driving range to practice our swings (oh yeah, Darwin golf is back!).   Come home and there are a million douches in the pool, complete with blow up doll and other things douches like.  They are jumping off ledges (with the blow up doll), smoking in the pool, throwing around glass bottles, etc.  In the meantime, I am hungry and want to start my BBQ, but the ledge they are jumping off is so close to my balcony it's almost attached.  So I said fuck this, calling police.  I call police, tell them what's going on, say I have kids here etc and police say they dont take noise complaints until after MIDNIGHT!  Omg! It was 4pm!  We knew there was a manager (or body corporate, as it's called here), living somewhere in the complex because they leave us notes if we leave our shoes outside (lol).  So Jason decides he will just ring every doorbell until he finds them, which actually works.  Now here is the real kicker!  They are ALLOWED to have parties in there.  She said she would go out there and tell them they couldnt smoke or have glass, but those are the only rules!  That and it had to end by 1030pm.  Wtf?!  How can it be allowed to have huge parties in a shared swimming pool? Grrrrrr.

In golf news, before Christmas we drove 1 hour to get to the only mini golf course we hadnt been to around here.  This one was a real classic.  It was part of a hotel out in the remote area.  We roll and in and immediately start arguing about who is going to go into the hotel and ask about the golf.  Obvs it ends up being me.  Theres no one there so I had to ring a bell - I say, hi I would like to play the mini golf and woman looks at me like "seriously?"  hahaha.  At this point I had no yet seen the course.  So I say yes, 2 please.  She tells me where to go and we are off down this path a little ways past the hotel.  Talk about extreme mini golf!  First off, the course is made from concrete.  There was no turf AT ALL.  Trying to putt on concrete was hilarious as obvs the ball just rolls.  Second, there were 4 holes that were "unplayable" because the entire thing was underwater.  Third, we may have been the first peeps to play on this course in quite some time because there were fallen branches and sticks everywhere, adding extra obstacles to the holes!  Finally, there were green ants (vicious biting ants), mosquitoes, migees, etc EVERYWHERE, so as you were tying to putt, you were getting fucked up by these insects!  At the same time, I was laughing so hard I was crying! Classic Darwin.  Here are some pics:

 

An aerial view of the course

 

An example of the extra obstacles.  Makes it quite challenging.

 

Enjoying all the fun!

 

Fish Lizard!



Ok, who knows about this because I def didnt!  2 nights ago Jason and I are walking around Bayview as we do every night.  We both noticed something on a rock near the water (same spot where we get the crabs, action hot spot).  I think wtf is that.  It looks like a fish, but it has legs!  And it's breathing air! It's a fish lizard!  Jason goes to get a closer look, and all of a sudden there are like 5 of these fish lizards!  Omfg!  They see us and run/swim away - cant tell which they are really doing because they look like they are running on the water, not putting their heads in! Obvs I was freaked out and immediately went home and googled this mysterious fish lizard.  Well, it's called a mudskipper - which I had heard people talking about here before but never bothered to ask what it was.  It's technically a fish, and those "legs" are technically fins that have evolved into leg looking things.  They breathe air 75% of the time, but can also breathe water!  Holy shit!  Will all fish soon walk on land?!  lololol. Seriously though, this fish lizard is apparently common in tropical muddy waters - just another reason why living in the tropics is freaky. 

Full swing back in Darwin these days.  My legs are covered in bites from bugs I never see.  I am constantly itchy and when I try to shave, my legs bleed.  It's real sex appeal.  Air conditioner is broken still until further notice, so def no making those cake pops!  Looks like we will be moving in July so I have decided to just work for the temp agency for the time being while trying to save money.  If I get a full time job in Darwin, I am going to have to stay here for another year and the thought of it pains me.  I just want out.  So temping it is.  I start monday (I hope).  Either that or I am trying to get hired as a tutor at the university.  It's a pretty crappy university, so I am hoping they take me hahaha. Ants are in full force too.  I have been spraying their trails so now they have dispersed to other locations in the apartment looking for new trail locations.  I think this is even worse, instead of confining them to one trail, now these explorer ants are all over the place -- one ant here and one ant there. 6 MORE MONTHS!



My new obsession

One of my last days in the US, I broke down and bought a Starbucks salted caramel cake pop ("broke down," as if I had been watching my diet at all!  lol).  I am telling you, there are few things on this earth as delicious as this tasty treat.  It is gooey chocolate cake on the inside, a chocolate outer layer, topped with a half coating of white chocolate, drizzled with caramel and further topped with sea salt omfgffffff!  There might even have been caramel INSIDE the cake pop as well, I was too shocked at its deliciousness to acutally process what was going on. 

So my problem:  OBVS there is not a Starbucks in Darwin.  And obvs Darwin is like 10 years behind everywhere else - I dont even think the cupcake craze has hit here yet, so def no cake pops anywhere.  So to taste this tasty treat again, I must make my own.  Pos this weekend I will attempt this seemingly impossible adventure of recreating the world's most delicious treat!  Only I know they are not going to come out as good and I will be disappointed.  Then again, it's not like I have anything else to do :-P

Job searching

So with my new visa I can finally get a real job now!  Filling out job apps for gov jobs here is a major hassle.  Instead of writing the traditional cover letter and tweaking it for different jobs, you to 'respond to the essential selection criteria.'  Meaning they provide a list of qualities you must have to get this job, and you then respond with the experience you have that matches the criteria.  And it's not some generic list -- each job is very specific.  It takes me hours to apply for one position.  The other day I spent all day working on one particularly specific app, only to start filling in the rest of the questionnaire and discover only Australian citizens are eligible to apply. FML. 

As you can imagine, I am procrastinating big time today.  When I woke up, I convinced myself I needed to eat a large breakfast because I couldnt be expected to on concentrate on an empty stomach.  I whipped up my signature smoothie (yogurt, half a banana, bunch of blueberries, almond milk, almond butter, and a tsp of vanilla extract -- yum, try it).  Then I thought, well I still have this half banana, I will make a banana sandwich to go along with it.  Now obvs I am too full to concentrate, so I am lying on my bed.  Have also decided I feel a slight headache coming on, so I should probably take a nap before that happens. 

This weekend is Australia day -- kinda the same as the 4th of July, I guess but without the winning independence part.  Michie Court ought to be going off this weekend.  It's usually one day, but since it's on a Saturday it's turned into a long weekend.  Ugh

I want to stop MOVING!!

I move more than anyone I know.  And I'm tired of it.  And I dont just move across town.  I move across the country and back and across the world and back and back again over and over.  At some point it was exciting and now it's just become annoying!  Well, I will be moving again this year. Jason is discharging from the army sooner than we had originally planned, so I will be leaving Darwin at some point relatively soon.  I am not complaining about leaving Darwin, I am just not ready for it!  In between all moves, I usually go home to mom's for a bit -- ok I end up there all the time haha.  But this move doesnt have that option as will be moving to southern Aus -- probs Melbourne.  Which means looking for a job AGAIN!  That is the absolute worst part about moving.  I live somewhere just long enough to make some connections and then I'm out!  Back to the job search.  At least I feel like my interview skills have improved :)

The heat is miserable here right now.  CONSTANT sweating, cold showers twice a day, always thirsty, always smelly, on and on.  In Darwin news, it seems a pack of wild dogs are terrorizing local farms and eating goats left and right.  These dogs are all over the news! Michie Ct is significantly quiter so far this year -- not convinced it will stay this way but there are a lot more kids running around here lately.  Which means kids in the pool all damn day as it's still summer vaca here. Douches in the pool to kids in the pool -- who pees more?

Big News!

First and foremost, just when I was going to write an entry bitching about Darwin, I logged into immigration website and saw that my visa app has been approved!!  I am so happy that it didnt end up dragging on and on and my immigration worries are over!  I never even heard a peep after submitting it, wasnt expecting much logging in, and then almost couldnt comprehend what I was reading when I saw visa status.  I guess after the 300 page app, they were satisfied I had covered everything, lol.  So woo hoo!  I can get a permanent job, come and go in and out of the country as I please, and get health insurance :-) 

My trip was good and despite being 6 weeks long, felt so short!  I dont think I will do another trip home over holidays again.  It was just wayyyy too busy and def didnt get to spend enough time with friends and family.  I did manage to gain 12 pounds though, LOL.  That is 2 lbs a week to do the math.  Lil Chunkaaa in da house!  Mowing down and replacing running with sitting by the fire drinking wine took its toll.  Anyway, I've been back a week and lost about 3 just eating like a normal person and not devouring every meal like it's my last.  Will keep updated on diet progress.  Today I am going to attempt a run.  Jason ran for the first time today in the Darwin heat and puked, lol.  I outta do really well...

So back in Darwin things suck as per uge.  It took 2 days of constant flying to get here from CA, over 40 hours...  so that was awesome and I felt great when we arrived, NOT!   Get home and a bottle of hot sauce has shattered in my bag, all over clothes.  Oh the washing machine wont turn on!  Then my computer wont turn on, bring that in, it's fucked so no laptop.  Now air conditioner unit in living room has shit the bed, so sitting here sweating in Darwin wetseason.  FML and welcome back! 

Wet season

Otherwise known as chunkaaa season.  It's hot, so hot.  You might associate immense heat with losing weight but for the second (and I could argue 3rd year in a row since I was here for half wet season 2011), I am gaining weight because it's too hot to move.  It's 94 and humid every single day with tropical sun beating down.  I still get hungry so I still eat, but my lunch time walks have been replaced with sitting and avoiding the outdoors.  I go to the gym, but what I do in the gym is 90% of my exercise for the whole day, I dont move otherwise.  Same routine everyday:  go to work, complain about how cold the AC is.  Lunch, instead of walking, I go home and eat at my house since it is not acceptable to go back to work smelling and soaked in sweat.  After work I go to the gym and then usually Jason and I will walk around Bayview (like 2 miles).  Then I will eat and sit on couch and complain about how hot it is til I go to bed.  In the morning, I complain about having a headache and my nose being permanently crusty from being in constant air conditioning.  The cycle is vicious!  Luckily, I have something to complain about at all times :-P

Anyway, in heat like this you need to drink a lot of water, which is something I am not particularly good at.  Considering I am a chunkaaa, I thought I would start drinking the spicy lemonade shit I drank on the master cleanse without the maple syrup (so basically lemon water and cayenne pepper).  The lemon is supposed to be cleansing while the cayenne jump starts your metabolism.  While I still down this shit all day long, I know it's a bunch of BS.  I will tell you why:  1.  When I did Master Cleanse back in Jan 07, they said on day 2 you would start experiencing hot poop, which meant your body was ridding itself of toxins which apparently burned on their exit (must be super toxic). Or it could be the cayenne pepper that I guzzled all day because I am in no way currently cleansing (last night's dinner was wine and velveeta for thanksgiving) but I am pooping hot!  UGH so naive!  ALSO, they sell this spicy sizzle syrup here in bottles marketed as "cleansing lemonade" which I paid $3 for a couple weeks ago.  It was the same shit!  $3 for a small ass bottle that tasted like ass. SCAM.  But why I am I still drinking this damn drink?  I will never learn.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, I am peacing out of the shit hole for 6 WHOLE WEEKS, leaving on Dec 5th.  I am going to Singapore and then HOME.  Just 12 days away!  Ok, I know this post sucks but I am tired as shit and half sleeping.  No proof reading so apologize in advance for the rants.  Tomorrow is celebrating thanksgiving and since we cant get an actual turkey I am making a giant whole fish.  Idk wtf I am doing.  lololol

Skinny rules!

So I am on pinterest all the time, but I never pin anything because I just keep my links in my own google doc.  I have to first check out the recipe before I know if I will like it - the pic is just there to entice (btw I cant believe how many blogs and amateur cooking sites there are now!).

Anyway, I came across this gem tonight.  20 rules to be skinny?!  Sounds like a lot.  I can already rule out a number of these "rules"- rule out as in it's not even worth trying.  Obvs #2 unless they invent diet wine sometime soon, this is not happening.  No carbs after lunch def a no go.  And who wants to go to bed hungry?  The apples and berries is def not happening either, Bob.  Those are like rare delicacies in Aus!  A small container of blueberries is $8!  Yes, I am not lying, the little one! Prolly the only these rules I have mastered are 8 and 20.  Oh and prolly 15.  What would Bob think of Roll it up:  Spring Roll Fang Zi?  I think it would be banned after lunch time.  Not cool.

Roll it up

I will start running again this week.
I will start running again this week.
I will start running again, ok! day after tomorrow!

I have been unemployed the last 4 weeks with only my visa application to entertain me.  I mean that was enough, I will post some pics tomorrow of the final product, but you would think I would be using the opportunity to work on my fitness.  But I am in this funk where I absolutely hate the gym and it's become too hot/humid to run outside.  I also hate my ipod and every single gym song on there.  Ok, I don't hate the ipod, but the running jams.  (btw you know what I hate and maybe some can relate?  When the total jam comes out and I put it on running mix and then the song is ruined because when I hear it, I associate it with pain and misery! The worst!  For this reason, I try not to put new jams on running mix.)  Anyway, instead of working out, chunkaaa's been cooking (obvs).  I have made so many new things the past 4 weeks, including 5 kinds of homemade spring rolls.  What I am finding in my spring roll research and experimentation, is that basically anything you enjoy eating, can be made into a spring roll.  So, Al's Casa de Cupcakes y Burritos is out...  Roll it up: Spring Roll Fang Zi is hot for '13 (fang zi is house in chinese :) )  Roll it up will sell only spring rolls - I am thinking it's a truck or some sort.  But the possibilities are endless!  This week I made Italian (aka pizza rolls) and Mexican spring rolls (aka mini burrito).  Also made traditional with pork, with chicken, and vegetarian.  Next I might try the breakfast spring roll -- eggs, bacon, and potatoes! They can be deep fried, baked, or fresh (rice paper wrapper, my personal preference).  Also want to experiment with the dessert spring roll, which might involve some kind of cake.  I know what you're all thinking, this is genius!  Well, dont steal my idea bitches!  I am onto something here :-P

Obvs you know there will be a Darwin NT spring roll with mud crab in it.  Crabbing continues to be action packed.  I was just chillin in the house on Sunday when Jason came home with a major emergency -- there were 3 crabs in the crab pot. I wanted nothing to do with fishing those fuckers out, so Lee went down to help him.  Well, unexpected turn of events in crabbing is that these crabs had fought each other in the cage and one were majorly fucked up!  The biggest, feistiest one we called Monster.  Monster was a beast, MASSIVE claws.  He had beat the shit out of one crab so badly that he had cracked his top shell and caused damage to the bottom body.  The crab ended up dying an hour later, luckily there was a neighbor who was eager to have him for lunch.  And wouldnt you know it, the crab with one claw from last week was back in the game, getting caught in the pot again!  He had also battled with Monster, so we figured just cook him.  That left just Monster with us and he was not fucking around.  We fed him chicken wings to keep him busy but every time someone tried to move him, it was on.  Jason brought Monster to work and sold him to someone, hahaha.  Another business venture!

Also wondering if anyone has made any version of the cauliflower pizza crust that is all over pinterest?  This seems like something I would make, but would come out terrible.  I picture it to be soggy or flimsy. I would need to be able to pass it off as regular crust too because I just don't see this going over well with dudes.  Any recommendations?

Mud crab

You've probably never heard of mud crabs before because I had never until I moved to the NT.  But mud crab is HUGE here.  One crab sells for like 35$.  Anyway, a couple weeks ago, Jason decided that he was going to take up a new hobby of catching these damn crabs.  We went out and bought a "crab pot" which is basically just a trap.  You put some bait in there, crab comes in to get the bait, crab cant get out.  Alternatively, and what happens most of the time, put some bait in there, fish/birds eat the bait, crab never goes in...lol.

Anyway, we didnt have too high of expectations for this.  Or should I say, I didnt have high expectations, Jason is obsessed.  I hate these damn crabs.  First off, they are massive and wicked ugly.  Secondly, these fuckers are fiesty and effing strong!  Their claw can TAKE OFF A FINGER!  No joke.  So obvs I am scared of them.  When they get stressed, they will drop a claw to get away - such as if they attack you.  The claw will stay on you and the crab will drop it and run.  You cant get the claw off!  I am not interested in this...

Michie court is right built near the marina and just across the street are marshes - aka mud crab village.  First day Jason threw the crab pot into the water, BAM he caught this friend!

Only thing is, we didn't know what the fuck to do with him. So we ended up just putting him back.  And we are pretty sure he ended up dying because we saw a pretty big dead crab there the next day.  Sorry little guy.

After that, no crabs for like a week.  Jason was back and forth to the stupid trap 3 times a day and was getting depressed.  Every time the bait was gone and there was no crab.  I talked to a friend of mine here who catches these things and she said to keep the trap on the rocks.  Ever since then, crabs.  On Saturday, Jason went to the trap not "just for fun" not expecting anything and there was a huge crab in there! He comes running home to get his "tools" aka scissors and a cooler and hurries back to crab pot.  20 mins later, he shows up covered in mud and bleeding.  "Is the crab in the cooler?"  I ask.  Nope, just one claw.  After what he calls an "epic battle" the crab dropped its claw and ran away.  LOLOLOL, obvs I laughed but he was less amused.

The next day, bam nother crab!  This time instead of trying to remove the crab from the trap, he just brought the entire trap back to the house (awesome).  This crab was also not coming out of the trap.  After 20 mins of trying to get it out, we dumped ice on him and he "went to sleep."

As you know with shellfish, you have just 2 choices: cook them alive or kill them and then cook them immediately.  We researched online, and the "humane" way to do it is to put the crab in the freezer for 45-60 mins and the crab goes unconscious.  So next thing you know, there is a big ass crab in the freezer.  You don't want to keep it in there too long or it will freeze to death.  Next is the real fun part.  You have to cut the crab in half, rip off the top shell, and clean out all the guts before you can cook it.  Obvs were fighting about who was going to do this.  I was scared shitless the fucker was going to wake up and start attacking me.  Keep in mind, we were too scared to try to bind the claws.  In the end, Jason was the unlucky one who had to cut the crab in half.  I was less terrified after that and we both cleaned him out (talk about gross).

And here is the finished product!  I cooked it "Asian style" (Gangnam style?) and cracked the shells open and cooked in the wok with garlic and chili peppers.  Came out pretty nice, but was a ton of work!  I am hoping no mud crabs come along for a while...  Funniest part is, Jason -- after all that work -- didnt even like it!

And that is my life in Darwin.  Pos next I will catch a croc.