Uhhh, what??

Update on the diet.  I just weighed myself.  I lost 5.5 lbs this week.  LOLOLOLOL!  My goal is just 10 lbs!  Idk why this stupid diet is working, but it's a very noticeable difference in my stomach.  One of the biggest changes I made is I always want to snack at work, and I will munch on things like granola bars or rice cakes.  I have replaced those with carrots and celery sticks.  So whenever I just feel like eating something, but I am not actually hungry, I crunch on those.  Also, changed to black coffee, which I actually dont mind.  I always drank black in Korea because it was so gross there was no point in adding milk or sugar, would still be gross. I think these are changes I can actually keep up!  Things I cant keep up are no meats/tofu/cheese, no bread/pasta, and I eliminated booze (yes, WINE) completely.  We know that's not going to last long, lol.  The no cheese was prolly 2 lbs itself.  I also have been really pushing myself in my run, increasing the length of time and frequency of sprints.  Which again is something I can keep up.

Typically I have been eating a smoothie for breakfast with a half banana, small bunch of blueberries, almond milk, fat free greek yogurt, teaspoon of almond butter, and vanilla extract.  Shit is delicious!  I pound it.  Then I will have another piece of fruit, like an orange.  I have something light for lunch, like a tomato avocado wrap on a fat free wrap (which is technically bread, so I am eating a little bread) and maybe an oat bar thing.  Then I snack on the carrots all day.  Dinner is salad with hard boiled eggs or something.  Snack is some nuts.  Not too hard, but def not satisfying.  Will keep posted.  

My shows!

I lost one pound today!  HAHA!  Will prolly wake up tomorrow and have gained 2 lbs!  That seems to be the way it goes.  Esp since there was chocolate bailey's cake with fudge frosting at work today.  Uhh what?  Everyone brings in a cake on their birthday in this office.  Everyone does it!  It's my birthday so I brought cake for everyone.  Not complaining, although chunkaaa could only take a couple bites.  Also, there were PUPPIES in the office today.  2 actual real life 11 week old puppies came for a visit.  So it was a good day.  

I realized today that I am majorly dreading my roommate coming back.  I think I would rather stay living alone!  I will tell you what the problem is.  The main problem.  THE TV!  I have no life, so I have my shows now.  What am I going to do when he is here and wants to watch tv???  I have shows every night!  I cant say, oh it's Tuesday and I watch Master Chef, and it's Wednesday and I watch Episodes, and now it's Thursday...  Dilemmas, dilemmas... but really, how do I tackle this issue?

Finkle and Einhorn

Diet and visa, visa and diet.  This is pretty much what's going on with me.  I SUCK at the diet.  You should see me creepin around looking for snacks.  Unfort I am coming up empty handed.  I am always hungry!  You know how they say things like hard boiled eggs make you full... not the case!  hahahaha.  Today I weighed .1 kilos more than yesterday, lol.  So whatever that is in lbs, like a 1/4 lb.  I want immediate results!

Visa saga at work continues. Pos it is getting all resolved tomorrow.  I feel like I should just quit my job and go work for the dept of immigration because I am prolly knowledgeable enough at this point.  Everyone person I call directs me to another person!  Oh, have you talked to so in so in the other fucking dept yet?  Uhh, no, but I would love to!  LOL.  This is the last time I am changing countries!!

So Jason may be coming home a week earlier than expected, which is not necessarily good news.  Right now they are saying he cant take time off in August, which would mean no Malaysia trip for him.  Fuckin figures, right?  I already bought the ticket!  Hopefully that changes.

In very good news, my tomato plant has 16 TOMATOES on it right now!  Not cherry tomatoes, but actual tomatoes!  I am in a state of total shock! I am trying not to jinx it, but if I actually get all those tomatoes I will die.  In heaven!

That is it!  bored bored bored.

Diet

Ughh, this stupid diet blows already and I havent even officially started yet.  I am starving!  I have already decided that the raw thing is not gonna work, not even for the week.  Sticking with the veggies, but I will cook the dinner.  So basically, no meat, fish, cheese, carbs not from fruits/veggies, tofu, or sugar.  Fuckin a, how bad does that sound??  Yeah, I know it's a dumb diet and it really doesnt even make sense, but whatevs.  I am doing it for 3 weeks, lol.  Maybe I will lose 20 lbs and this will be a new craze!  Cant turn out worse than the Alkins!  

Muffins bitches!

I made muffins last weekend because I was bored.  They are the whole foods vita top muffin.  They have no sugar, flour, butter, egg yolks, etc.  I obvs thought this shit was going to be disgusting.  I have never had good luck healthy baking.  But they are DELICIOUS!  Also super easy to make...  you chuck everything in the blender and then bake it.  That's it.  About 115 calories each for 12 muffins.  The only problem is eating just one!  

http://dashingdish.com/recipe/triple-chocolate-chunk-muffins/

I took some pics:

I survived!

So I survived my first trip out bush.  Safe to say, there are few places like an Aboriginal "bush camp" in the US.  The dogs were obvs everywhere and biting.  They also chase the cars and rip off things like mud flaps.  Because of this, nearly every dog is walking with at least one bad leg because peeps just run them over all the time.  You dont really have a choice.  If it looks like a dog is getting ready to bite you, you hit it with something.  Hard.

I was there to observe the court.  The entire situation is just fucked up.  A couple days before, the police go around and remind everyone that court is happening and you need to come into "town."  You might be thinking, as was I, wtf is "town" in a camp??  Well, the camp has "houses." Idk how to describe the houses, a lot are trailers, but some are more like units than homes.  It's a house that was plopped down, it could blow away.  But for many people, it's much better than what they had -- which before 2 years ago was tents.  Legit, you and  your family lived in a tent.  Anyway, I am getting off track.  So come into town means all the people that are camped around the community -- way out in the bush -- have to come in to this area where they have houses for court.  "Court" is obvs not held in a court room, but in a spare room next to the post office.  You name, they don't have it.  In fact, stacks of printer paper boxes are being used as tables in the court room.  The lawyers font have anywhere to work, so they operate out of suitcases and one white fold up table outside the courtroom.  Keep in mind that we have wet season here where there are constant monsoons.  Cant wait til they send me out to court in the wet.

Anyway, court here is a shit show.  Most people are being arrested for things such as assault, driving unlicensed, possession of cannabis, etc.  Also lots of domestic violence.  You gotta kind of wonder, when you are living hundreds of miles from any other communities, who really cares if you dont have a license or you are smoking cannabis?  But thats the law and if you break it you are brought to this fucked up court.  I dont want to get into too much of the rest, but just imagine total chaos of people who don't really speak English being brought into court all day and then trying to grasp their punishment.  UGHH.

I was happy to get home, but I know this is just the beginning for me going out bush.  Honestly, I feel slightly inspired by the situation and maybe it's a problem I can help tackle.  Already I have been asked to write a formal report on my observations, which I did, but I am reluctant to share it.  I feel like that white person who sits in an office all day and then comes out with my "recommendations."  I dont want to be that person.  Perhaps after a few more times, I will feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts.

Enough about that, back to stupid shit!  Since I am a chunkaaa and I am bored, I have decided to start a new fad diet which will likely commence Sunday or Monday (whenever I finish eating all the chicken I cooked today, lol).  I semi-considered revisiting the master cleanse, but then I read reviews of people who did it, and it brought back bad memories.  So now I am going to try a raw diet this week.  LOL, it's already funny.  No cooked food at all.  Well, maybe hard boiled eggs for a little protein.  I am going to start with 5 days and see what happens.  Carrot sticks, celery, broccoli, etc etc.  I can make it 5 days, some people eat like this all the time!  Uhhh, wine is raw... right??  

Bread day 2

I had the bread with eggs this morning.  Still delicious but I found it got denser and is not as high.  I think next time I am going to cook it 5 mins longer.  I am still baffled by this bread!

Today is "Territory Day," ie the only day of the year you can both buy and shoot off fireworks.  Of course all dudes love this day -- Jason is so mad he is missing it, started bitching about it 2 months ago.  It's really weird because all of a sudden they are selling fireworks EVERYWHERE.  But you have to both buy them and set them off only on this one day.  I def slept in today because I am just picturing how loud it's going to be around the Michie Ct tonight!

So everyone is my office is laughing at me.  They are sending me to court in a small community this week.  They waited a little while for me to get used to the job, but I think this is going to start happening more often.  Australia is super rural and people live out in communities that literally dont have roads, they are accessible by plane or 4WD only.  Basically, they hold court once a month in each community -- all the court staff, judges, lawyers all fly in for 2-3 days and everyone that has been arrested in the last month gets a summons to appear in court that day.  And most of these people don't speak English, they speak Aboriginal languages (I work with the court interpreting).  You can imagine how chaotic this is.  And weird!  The communities are all aboriginal people and once a month all these white people fly in and put them in jail.  It's going to be a super interesting experience and it's going to places that most Australian people never even get to see.

I have to take this small ass charter plane and roll in there for Wed and Thurs of this week.  Everyone thinks this is funny.  One because I am American and 2. because I am me.  They are calling it by introduction to the true Territory.  I have been advised by many people to carry a stick with me because there are these mangy dogs everywhere that bite you. They call them "camp dogs."  Apparently the place I am going is the worst for camp dogs.  I asked if I should bring mace and someone said that's a good idea.  Fuckin A!  I am obvs terrified of these dogs.  My boss was saying one time he was there and one of the dogs had crawled under the court house and died 2 days earlier.  The place stunk and no one removed the dog!  I seriously think I have a knack for picking the world's craziest jobs.  I will be sure to write a full report next weekend, if I survive. "You're not a true Territorian til you've been bitten by a camp dog, Al." Ahhhhh!