Ok, so the book is 500+ pages and I am only on page 165, but can I say ... this book fucking sucks! I mean, it's really really bad! I am SHOCKED at the popularity of this trilogy. I hate the characters, I hate the now cliched awkward girl who all guys like (even the hottest ones), I hate it takes place in the Pacific Northwest, and I hate the author -- both her writing style and her pretending to understand American culture. I think I hate everything about this book so far. I just dont get it-- it is not even good escapism because the terrible writing brings you back into reality -- really, he "MURMURS" AGAIN?!?! PLEASE Anastasia STOP BITING YOUR BOTTOM LIP -- I never want to hear the word murmurs or anything about a bottom lip again! I hate this book!
Because I feel bad for you if you set out to read this book, and even worse if you have spent money on it (like I have, 18 fucking dollars) I will just say now I have nothing positive to say (if you havent already caught on) and dont read this if you are keen to read this book. Thousands of people love it, so maybe it's me.
Here are the problems:
I hate the main character - like I cant relate to Anastasia at all and I dont know anyone who could! She is graduating from college and she has NEVER been drunk. Shes never been drunk, shes never had sex (not that weird, but combined with all the other nevers, it's weird), she never exercised, shes never left the country, I am surprised this fucking girl has her driver's license! She doesnt dress up, shes never worn heels, she is of course "too skinny" (because they are never too fat, it's always too skinny), and every guy in the book is secretly or not-so-secretly in love with her. She is not funny, cute, or endearing... she is just plain annoying. Really fucking annoying. Did I mention dumb? And what's with her "subconscious," "inner goddess," and the incredibly annoying phrase "double crap" ??????????
Then there is Christian Grey. This person could not possibly exist in real life -- again making the characters completely un-relatable. Christian Grey is a self made billionaire at the age of 27. Maybe the book says what type of company he owns, but I cant recall at the moment, and even more so, I dont care. What I know of him so far is that he is 27, self made billionaire, licensed pilot (obvs), classic pianist (obvs), incredibly fit and good looking (obvs), a sex feign, and he talks like -- uhhh, I dont even know what he talks like! He speaks in a way no normal person would speak! Old fashioned combined with obnoxious and asking-to-be-laughed-at, if there is a term for that. He gives copious amounts of money to Washington State University (his alma mater???? would make even less sense), and has many ambiguous phone conversations relating to deliveries in Darfur. Hello? Doesnt he know Clooney has Darfur covered? LOL
The writing is so bad it's hard to believe it was published, never mind a best seller.
Has anyone read and enjoyed this book?? Dont get me wrong, I am not above trashy literature -- everyone knows how much I love Twilight. But I just dont see the appeal in this. Maybe it gets better, but I am going to struggle to finish reading it. I want to punch this book in the face (for those not in the know, or just because the joke was bad -- that was a play on how Christian always says "I will fuck your face." UGH)
Because I feel bad for you if you set out to read this book, and even worse if you have spent money on it (like I have, 18 fucking dollars) I will just say now I have nothing positive to say (if you havent already caught on) and dont read this if you are keen to read this book. Thousands of people love it, so maybe it's me.
Here are the problems:
I hate the main character - like I cant relate to Anastasia at all and I dont know anyone who could! She is graduating from college and she has NEVER been drunk. Shes never been drunk, shes never had sex (not that weird, but combined with all the other nevers, it's weird), she never exercised, shes never left the country, I am surprised this fucking girl has her driver's license! She doesnt dress up, shes never worn heels, she is of course "too skinny" (because they are never too fat, it's always too skinny), and every guy in the book is secretly or not-so-secretly in love with her. She is not funny, cute, or endearing... she is just plain annoying. Really fucking annoying. Did I mention dumb? And what's with her "subconscious," "inner goddess," and the incredibly annoying phrase "double crap" ??????????
Then there is Christian Grey. This person could not possibly exist in real life -- again making the characters completely un-relatable. Christian Grey is a self made billionaire at the age of 27. Maybe the book says what type of company he owns, but I cant recall at the moment, and even more so, I dont care. What I know of him so far is that he is 27, self made billionaire, licensed pilot (obvs), classic pianist (obvs), incredibly fit and good looking (obvs), a sex feign, and he talks like -- uhhh, I dont even know what he talks like! He speaks in a way no normal person would speak! Old fashioned combined with obnoxious and asking-to-be-laughed-at, if there is a term for that. He gives copious amounts of money to Washington State University (his alma mater???? would make even less sense), and has many ambiguous phone conversations relating to deliveries in Darfur. Hello? Doesnt he know Clooney has Darfur covered? LOL
The writing is so bad it's hard to believe it was published, never mind a best seller.
Has anyone read and enjoyed this book?? Dont get me wrong, I am not above trashy literature -- everyone knows how much I love Twilight. But I just dont see the appeal in this. Maybe it gets better, but I am going to struggle to finish reading it. I want to punch this book in the face (for those not in the know, or just because the joke was bad -- that was a play on how Christian always says "I will fuck your face." UGH)
I DIDNT EVEN DISCUSS THE SEX SCENES! No need to, obvs ridiculous. Anastasia is a natural porn star her first time and every time! Who isnt?!
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